about Me and Others like me...
My Twisted Sukha
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*this site belongs to an incest survivor and deals with sexual abuse of children.*

*this site is dedicated in memory of Sonya L, who simply couldn't stay, & left six years ago today, & Jeff M, who couldn't stay either; and in honor of Emily, Debber, Des, Linder, myself, & ALL the others...*

I am not a public person, and sharing my life's 'dirt' with others has been difficult. But as I see things, it couldn't be avoided. I'd love to see the day that there simply was no more like me. But the average human life span will render me long gone before that day ever comes, I'm afraid.

I can't help but think it could all have been so different for me...for the others, if only we hadn't been the victims of such ravished tiny bodies and souls. No, for some, life starts out on the wrong foot. By some quirkish fate of nature, our tiny souls were delivered via the stork to families so dysfunctional, as to be perverted by most common standards. Yet brave little things we are, we've tried our best to scratch some semblance of a life out of what was given us, and attempted being loving in spite of it all.

Good thing hearts are roomy places, when it comes to children. As children, it's hard not to love your mom and dad, no matter what. For most of those abused, it's still possible to find small amounts of love tucked miraculously away, hiding in some darkened corner of a young heart - just waiting for a kind word or act to coax it into daylight.

Family Portrait Circa 1910

Martin Luther King Jr said the 'truth shall set you free', but I'm not certain about that. You see, truth is - I was sexually abused as a child. Where's the 'freedom' in that?

Most people would say survival is one's most primal instinct, but I'm not certain about that either. Love is our most primal instinct. We spend lifetimes searching for it, yearning for it. We die for it.

No, Dr King. Truth doesn't provide freedom for all. It merely sets us on the path. It is love that sets our souls to flight, and love that sets us free.


favorite quotes:

i shot an arrow
into the sky,
it hit a cloud
floating by.
the cloud fell
dieing to the shore,
i don't shoot arrows anymore.
-shel silverstein

sorrow shared is halved and joy shared is doubled.
-native american saying

i find the great thing in this world is not where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.
-oliver wendell holmes

the art of being wise is to know what to overlook.
-william james

fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning.
-cardinal newman


and a quote of my own as well:
always leave it better than you found it.


***be kind to yourself. it may be the only kindness you are shown today...***

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